i already hear my dad disowning me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
