Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so let's talk penis.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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