Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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