I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
