Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
