It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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