did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
