I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
