just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
