I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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