I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
