So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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