Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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