he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize