No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
