I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
