Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
