I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
