Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's blow job season.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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