im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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