Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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