The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I touched a dick in church today
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