Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
