I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
