After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
