Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
