Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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