But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
