god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
