I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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