Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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