She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
