I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
