I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
