There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
