All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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