I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
