Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Drake has all the answers
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
