she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
