Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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