Who did Billy Mays play for?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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