I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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