Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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