god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Screwed.edu
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Vodka?
Forever.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
