Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
