so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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