Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
