gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
