Will you blow on my dice?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
