i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is Oprah even human
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
